A long time has passed

It has been a long time since the last post and several things have happened.
Nothing good came out in these months and I have the feeling that nothing good will come in the future.
It's ok, doesnt really matter.
I lost a even greater deal of my memories but I'm still me. Life goes on.

Honestly i just dont give a fuck about anything anymore so I'll continue to write only to my hearts content.
Shit happens and i need a way to vent out things so, i'll keep writing, hoping to avoid repercussions of not doing anything at all.
If it sounds like a diary... to hell with it! It will be something along those lines.
So suit yourself out, read all you want, think whatever you might.
As long as i remain unknown I really dont give a shit


It's now 6:34 am and, after a slespless night like so many others since a few years ago, i find myself writing in the dark, afraid to go foward.


It's been 6 weeks since the start of college and i still havent showed up for classes, after a first morning full of excitement, unknown places, unknown people, not caring and an irrational aversion to it all.
If i keep this up it will be like in the other place where everything felt wrong. That time i may have had an excuse since my life was hell and i felt like i was just doing it to end up in a dead end tiresome job and be miserable for the rest of my life. Now, in a different area and place i find myself just not knowing how to react to it all.
All of it constantly reminding me of all these time periods that i hardly speak and when i do either i find myself speaking very short phrases in an inaudible manner or not being abble to speak at all.

In an hour or so gonna take a shower, see how i feel after it.
If im ok, after being awake for 24 hours i shall gather all my courage to face unknown beasts and finally get a chance to redeem myself or fall flat on my ass to call myself human trash.
Last years remorse was hell.
This year is starting to feel like it.
I will not be able to go trough it again.